[ a crease folds the little line etched into her forehead, shaking her head before she realizes — right. yelena has no means of seeing her. and though it feels like stacking on unnecessary concern to what has worried them all, she continues, ]
no, nothing like that. it's the mission.
[ a beat, and then more honestly: ]
it's everything, actually. i know it sounds selfish for me to complain when we're all facing a threat, but ...
the orb asked me not to use my powers at all, even knowing it could lead to a slow death. i couldn't do what it asked of me. and now i can't help but wonder how long those of us who were in the first group have.
eating poor in ravka was normal, but i'm not sure how long snakes will sustain us all. but i don't want to say that in front of the others. no one needs me to talk about our possible doom.
that, or this one likes you better. seems a bit rude after what lengths i went to for the last one.
[ — or humorless poetry, as if the orbs are all whispering: you allowed us to feed off your power, once. now experience what it's like to suffer without it. a punishment, if she didn't know any better. an excruciating test that not even baghra would advise. ]
no. i don't think so. not yet, at least. it's difficult to tell what's leftover from not using my powers for the past two weeks.
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no subject
I mean, to you specifically? Or is it just this mission in general?
no subject
no, nothing like that. it's the mission.
[ a beat, and then more honestly: ]
it's everything, actually.
i know it sounds selfish for me to complain when we're all facing a threat, but ...
the orb asked me not to use my powers at all, even knowing it could lead to a slow death. i couldn't do what it asked of me. and now i can't help but wonder how long those of us who were in the first group have.
eating poor in ravka was normal, but i'm not sure how long snakes will sustain us all.
but i don't want to say that in front of the others. no one needs me to talk about our possible doom.
no subject
Do the orbs think they are being funny?
[Are they being trolled? This feels like trolling.
Anyway regarding her other concerns:]
Are you feeling sick or weak or anything?
no subject
seems a bit rude after what lengths i went to for the last one.
[ — or humorless poetry, as if the orbs are all whispering: you allowed us to feed off your power, once. now experience what it's like to suffer without it. a punishment, if she didn't know any better. an excruciating test that not even baghra would advise. ]
no. i don't think so. not yet, at least.
it's difficult to tell what's leftover from not using my powers for the past two weeks.